"Family isn't about whose blood you have. It's about who you care about."
Trey Parker and Matt Stone
Producers of TV Show South Park
A few days ago, I became aware that my brilliant cousins are once again giving a strong showing in their respective fields. My dear cousin Michael has just been accepted into the Poem and Poetry Masters program at the University of Chicago (an alma mater of Chhatrapati Lukeji's father), while over at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Jeff the chemist extraordinaire has just accepted a fellowship for graduate level research with the Department of Defense, which will provide substantial amounts of funding for his work. Inspired by their achievements, your dear Chhatrapati Lukeji wrote the following email to Michael to acknowledge and celebrate this magnificent new undertaking. The email requires some context. Firstly, for his senior thesis, Michael wrote about the contemporary Irish poet Paul Muldoon, a Pulitzer prize recipient and professor at such universities as Oxford and Princeton. Secondly, Jeff and I, being from the fields of chemistry and international studies, respectively, often joke with each other about our areas of interest. I, for example, know nothing about chemistry, whereas Jeff claims an equivalent lack of expertise in the area of international studies. In order to compensate for our respective lack of knowledge in each other's areas of speciality, we have devised an ingenious system of communication in which we make bold statements filled with as many buzzwords pertaining to the topic in question in our assertions, thereby appearing to be experts in the eyes of everyone else except those who actually possess knowledge on the topic.
Chhatrapati Lukeji to Michael:
Hello M C Hammer,
Congratulations on your acceptance at University of Chicago! While I am sad that we will not be sharing a year together in DC, I have no doubt that your final decision was nothing less than an exhaustive assessment of each program that left no component unexamined. Furthermore, this will give me one additional reason to return to the fair city of Chicago, a place that I truly love and am just beginning to know. I hope you are up for more crazy nights on the town, because next time you and I are in the city there will be many a bar to visit and many a brew to happily consume.
Assuming that this email list mass send out becomes a regular occurrence, be sure to add me to your list. I will joyously read every email you send, and, depending on the frequency, I may even respond.
Lastly, I know that you take your academics quite seriously, and in honor of this prodigiously awesome occasion I even tried my own hand at writing you a poem. Here it goes:
A Masterful Ode to the Great Michael Martell
You like poetry and I think that is really cool
I am sure you will have a great time at school
U of Chicago is no longer the place where "fun goes to die"
Now its as cool as an Igloo with a capital "I"
This decision of yours is as monumental as the first man on the moon
I still haven't read your senior thesis on Paul Muldoon
But I will definitely read the next thing you write
Because I am sure it will be insanely tight
Because you are really bright
Just like your brother
And your mother
Yeah.
Now that I have blown you away with my lyrical prowess, I would just like to remind you that such talent is not necessarily innate, but rather developed over years of discipline and practice. And despite the fact that your cousin is clearly a brilliant poet, that is not to say that there cannot be two brilliant poets in the family. For that matter, if you think about it, our family appears to have adopted a "strength in numbers" strategy of dominance, and to illustrate I refer to you the number of lawyers in our familiar circle. Last time I counted, there were not one, not two, not three, nay, but FOUR! What, pray tell, can trump that? Five lawyers, ok, fine. But surely you see my point. Even your older brother, from what I understand, is something of a wizard at that chemistry stuff that he does, and if he ever needs any advice you can tell him to come to me (the other chemistry expert of our family). All he really needs to do is ensure that his molecules are effectively bound together in a crystalline lattice, thereby undergoing rapid oxidation and harnessing the ionization potential to ensure that the trends in their atomic radii produce consistent results with the cations of their negatively charged anions. And always be mindful of the Bronsted Lowry acid base theory, otherwise bad things could happen.
You see, dear cousin, what I am really trying to concisely and laconically state is that we are all quite proud of you, and we wish you the very best for the future. As long as that is what you get out of the above passages, then I have no doubt that you will find success in every direction you turn. Furthermore, you can always count on our support, especially mine when it comes to writing (I write real good).
Do keep in touch, and say hello to the family for me. All the best to all the Best!
Love,
Luke
Michael to Chhatrapati Lukeji:
This is the best email I've received in at least 2.5 years. Thank you, Luke. I'll pass on the instructions to Jeff and hang the Masterful Ode on my wall.
Jeff to Chhatrapati Lukeji:
I can't help but wholeheartedly concur with your assessment, Luke. It reminds me of the situation in the Middle East; given the efforts toward counterinsurgency, we need to reach out to political action groups across the spectrum, all of whom recognize that as long as the economic situation remains tenuous, it will surely be reflected in the GDP at next year's international summit.
"In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous."
Aristotle
The Forest Rights Act (2006) was intended to resolve a prolonged conflict between multiple perspectives regarding the settlement of lands classified as “forests.” Such areas were tracts of land that may or may not have included actual forests, and many were classified as such without properly recording the presence of communities indigenous to the area. In Madhya Pradesh, for example, 82% of areas that were later classified as government forests were never surveyed. The same was true for 40% of government forests in Orissa. Even today, 60% of India’s National Parks have not underwent the full process of enquiry. The legacy of this “historical injustice” is the eviction of 300,000 families from their ancestral homes. In Madhya Pradesh alone more than 125 were completely destroyed.
Prior to the Forest Rights Act in 2006, all Forest Dwelling Scheduled Tribes (FDST) were governed according to two pre-existing laws. The first of these laws was the Indian Forest Act, passed in 1927. This act was not concerned with environmental conservation, despite the implications of its title, but rather was a proxy for enabling the ruling British government to access the forest resources of India in order to meet their need for timber. The government could declare any tract of land to be a reserved forest, a protected forest, or a village forest. The second piece of legislation became the Wildlife (Protection) Act of 1972, which gave the government the power to designate any area as a protected area. Under these laws, any individuals residing on such lands would have to be “settled” by a “forest settlement officer.” These government officials were intended to review the claims of the residents to the land and then decide whether to legitimize or reject their claim. In the case of the latter outcome, those individuals would be forcibly evicted from their ancestral homeland without compensation or alternative options. Individuals who had not yet undergone the process of enquiry were liable to be evicted at any moment. Unsurprisingly, this led to widespread abuse of power by the forest settlement officers, who subjected the FDSTs to a number of indignities. It was precisely such indignities that the contemporary Forest Rights Act is aimed at addressing.
The new act now officially recognizes the rights of traditional forest dwelling communities, and attempts to allow these communities the means of self-representation in government. In order to qualify for the benefits of the act, there are certain criteria that must be met. Firstly, the individual must reside within the boundaries of an area that has been designated to be a government forest. The individual in question must further depend on said forest as a means of livelihood. Then the individual must prove one of two criteria; if the two aforementioned conditions have remained true for the past 75 years, that individual may be given the status of an “Other Traditional Forest Dweller.” The alternative is to prove membership in a Scheduled Tribe. In the latter case, the individual must also be residing in an area in which the Scheduled Tribe is, in fact, scheduled.
The Act also grants a number of rights to the FDSTs, and now even extends those rights to Non Tribals also dwelling in government forests. Use rights pertain to minor forest produce, grazing grounds, and encompass traditional areas utilized by nomadic and pastoral communities. Land rights ensure that the individual members of the FDSTs receive the land that they have been cultivating prior to 13 December 2005. It should be noted that the amount of land that they may receive is limited to four hectares. Finally, the Act extends the right of protection and conservation, a capacity that previously had been exclusively held by the forest department. Until this law, the forest department monopoly on protection and conservation was absolute; had they intended to destroy the forest the attempt to stop them would have been a criminal offense.
The implementation of the Forest Rights Act presents a prodigious challenge to India. By placing more power in the Gram Sabha, the government is essentially accepting a move toward decentralization. Increased power at the community level is expected to counter the former monopoly of the forest department. Furthermore, it is the Gram Sabha that has been given the authority and responsibility to settle FDSTs. This process will be performed in conjunction with the Panchayati Raj, forest department, and select state agencies.
The Act has been met with controversy by competing interests, including the environmentalist perspective, corporate interest, and that of social justice advocates focused on protecting the FDSTs and Non Tribals. Social advocates view the Act as a weapon of struggle that provides the opportunity to reach a balance between conservation and the rights of communities. They cite attempts by government to undermine the law (specifically community power) as evidence of its continued attention to large scale projects such as mines, dams, and special economic zones. Environmentalists, too, view this Act as a weapon against the commercialization of India’s natural resources and land.
The Resources and Rights Initiative, along with the Kalpravriksh Organization, have provided an informative commentary into the challenges of implementation that the Forest Rights Act currently faces. While the Act does present the opportunity to strengthen economic, social, and political advances for the forest dwelling communities, these communities must be made aware of the law first and foremost. Secondly, they must be organized in such a manner in which they may effectively register and prove their claims. Gran Sabhas must be free from the influence of special interests, and committees that review the claims should be held accountable to fulfilling such reviews in a timely manner. Kalpravriksh has already observed a lack of adherence to the Act via a lack of seriousness given to the claims. The imposition of arbitrary deadlines has complicated the process, and indeed such deadlines even lack consistency between different departments. Furthermore, state interference in Gram Sabha elections severely threatens the efficacy and political orientation (read: sympathy) of its members to these claims. Violations of the Act have already occurred in Gujarat, Rajasthan, and Madhya Pradesh. Finally, the inclusion of Non Tribals in the act may create tension between these communities, as Non Tribals may encroach upon the ancestral lands of FDSTs.
More significantly is the opposition from environmental conservationists, who view the allowance of land to Tribals and other Forest Dwelling peoples as a direct threat to the overall health of the forest and its long-term sustainability. The law itself has been criticized as amounting to little more than a land distribution scheme, with forest dwellers assuming the legal rights to use of the land and forest produce to the detriment of the local fauna. Of paramount concern is, in fact, the wildlife (namely tigers) whose living area will become drastically reduced by increased human presence in these areas.
The Forest Rights Act is a highly controversial law, and it is clear that the balance of social justice and environmental protection has not yet been universally agreed upon. Its importance lies in the consideration of this balance, and how the protection of the environment and its species can be protected while ensuring that the rights of indigenous communities are upheld. This act has profound repercussions in other parts of the world as well. To cite one such example, the existence of the un-contacted Panoan tribe deep in the Amazon rainforest in Brazil presents an ethical dilemma for Brazilian officials. Should the government intervene in the small, three hundred member tribe in order to safeguard it from illegal commercial logging activity? Or should it refrain from making contact for fear that the tribe may not be acclimated to modern diseases or other illnesses?
The previous example provides a rationale into why such legislation is important. Until humanity can devise a system in which equal consideration is given to protecting the rights of its citizenry along with the safeguarding of natural ecosystems, the controversy will remain in place. The international importance of this problem is highlighted in the amount of legislation in other parts of the world. In the United States, there is Title 16,2104, which is based on forest health protection. The act is oriented towards protecting the growth of forests and promoting the stability of forest related industries. Likewise, in Canada, Forestry Act RSC c. F-30 (1985) is targeted at encouraging public cooperation in the protection and wise use of forest resources in Canada, as well as research and development purposes. Australia’s National Forest Policy Statement (NFPS) acts as a “blueprint for the future of public and private forests,” while the United Kingdom’s Forestry Standard is a collection of legislation regarding the protection of forests both from domestic law and from UN conferences.
Resolving the issue of government forests in India will require an exhaustive, national effort to settle the areas that have yet to undergo the process of enquiry and to accommodate the communities who live within their boundaries. It is a process that has socio-political as well as environmental significance, and as such it cannot be ignored. Though competing ideologies each contain their own perspectives on the best solution for these forests, the ultimate result will inevitably include reconciliation for the Tribal forest dwellers and heightened attention paid towards respecting the forest and its rich collection of life. It is the process of finding this balance that will provide the steepest challenge to the government, yet it is also this very process that will ensure that such a balance is eventually reached.
Bibligraphy
Bhullar, Lovleen . "THE INDIAN FOREST RIGHTS ACT 2006: A CRITICAL APPRAISAL." Lead Journal. School of Law, School of Oriental and African Studies (SOAS) - University of London , n.d. Web. 7 Apr. 2011. <http://www.lead-journal.org/content/08020.pdf>
Ghosh, Soumitra, and National Forum of. "India: The Forest Rights Act, a weapon of struggle." World Rainforest Movement. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Apr. 2011. http://www.wrm.org.uy/bulletin/115/India.html
IUCN - the world's largest conservation. "Truths and Falsehoods About the Forest Rights Act." Understanding the Scheduled Tribes and Other Traditional Forest Dwellers (Recognition of Forest Rights) Act, 2006. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Apr. 2011. http://forestrightsact.awardspace.com/myths.htm#mozTocId600030
I was quite shy when I was growing up, and though there were a number of kids my age near where I lived I was far from comfortable in most social settings amongst said individuals. Instead, a young Chhatrapati Lukeji buried himself in novels and lived in fantasy worlds in which brave knights fought dragons and rescued damsels from utter peril. At recess I pretended to be interested in football or red rover or whatever the rage was, but after school I went home to join my literary friends who always waited for me patiently and never left me behind. In the pages of novels and later on screen I joined these characters as they cast their first spells, or found new lands through the back end of a wardrobe, or ventured 20,000 leagues below the sea. My friends nobly saved the world from intelligent alien societies, journeyed across nine kingdoms to honor their commitments, and roamed this world and others in search of great adventure. Even after childhood, I continue to collect and celebrate their stories, both old and new. They were real to me then. They are real to me yet.
"The magic never ends."
-C. S. Lewis in Shadowlands
10) Jake Wyler
High School Hero, Prom King, First String Varsity Quaterback
"Not Another Teen Movie"
"Oh it's not a Sundae. It's a banana split."
Let's be honest. Everyone at some point or another wanted to be the cool, popular kid in school. Unfortunately for 99.99% of the people who have had that aspiration, there can only be one or two at each school. The rigidity of the hierarchy is what creates its alluring exclusivity, and the brutal requirements for the much coveted title of teenage royalty instantly disqualify nearly everyone, except for the privileged few blessed with a set of genetic traits, social skills, and athletic prowess that grant them the superhuman status that propel them to high school celebrity. Sound familiar? Actually, not really. Popularity contests, though great for satirical low budget flicks, are probably less a reality and more a post high school obsession in a prudent, somewhat sexually repressed society that sexualizes prepubescent girls that draw their inspiration from Disney stars who, in direct violation of the artificial values for which they are supposed to stand, take racy photos of themselves and publicize them shamelessly. But I see the point. High school is raw, raunchy, and without limits. At no other point in life is life itself so confusing or formative. And that is precisely why the arch stereotype of the high school hero is so ingrained in the US social mentality.
Enter Jake Wyler. He rolls up in a red, 1980's model Ferrari. Walking, nay, swaggering into his secondary level kingdom, he is the epitome of ease and confidence. Sporting a varsity jacket (pardon the pun), he passes swooning admirers (of both genders) and receives paparazzi style attention before he even arrives at his locker. Life is good for Jake Wyler. So good, in fact, that he must take a bet to turn the geekiest and most socially graceless girl in the school, Janie Briggs, into this year's Prom Queen, thereby setting off on a heavily satirical romp through the high school social structure and embarking on an obscenely but delightfully predictable process of self-rejuvenation that forces him to arrive at the shocking conclusion that true beauty is on the inside, and that one should never dwell too much on what others think about him. Theodore Giesel, known better by his pen name as Dr Seuss, perfectly stated this point when he said: "Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Side note: the actor who played Jake Wyler in Not Another Teen Movie also played the role of Lucas Lee in Scott Pilgrim vs The World.
9) Captain Hallelujah Roberts
Commodore of Her Majesty's Royal Navy, Devout Christian, Protector against Mutiny
Terry Prachett's "Nation"
An obscure minor character renowned for his devotion to God and his unrivaled bravery. Captain Roberts accepted the enlistment of an ensign whom he knew to be trouble in the hopes of bringing that man closer to God. Roberts failed in this quest, as the ensign stirred up a mutiny that brought Her Majesty's Ship to a full scale rebellion. According to the legend, in the midst of the fighting on board the vessel, Roberts stormed out of his quarters with a mini cannon and threatened to bring down the entire ship. The mutineers instantly surrendered, and they were forced off of the ship (though near enough to the Great Southern Pelagic Islands, a fictional archipelago, that they would survive). Captain Roberts was also known for his habit of bellowing out church hymns during violent storms, with the raging waves crashing perilously down on the stern and bow. Unfazed, unscathed, and utterly fearless, Captain Roberts was as fine a captain as any in Her Majesty's Royal Navy unto death itself, when a storm sent his vessel crashing into the rocky shores of Mau's Island Nation.
8) Bert
Chimney Sweep, Jack of all Trades
"Mary Poppins"
"But I spends me time in the ashes and smoke, in the whole widest world there's no happier bloke."
Self-proclaimed as the happiest bloke in the whole widest world, Bert is a perpetually good natured and supernatural counterpart to the charming, witty, and practically perfect Mary Poppins. Appearing throughout the film as a blue collar worker of varying professions, Bert is the ever happy go lucky source of inspiration to the Banks children as they journey through the streets of industrial London in their thrilling adventures with their clever, magical caretaker. Played in the well known film by Dick van Dyke, Bert is a true gentleman (forbearance is the hallmark of his creed) whose dazzling courtesy and natural reassurance hold a looming, Post Victorian city at bay.
7) Esmeralda
Gypsy, Selfless Heroine
Walt Disney's "The Hunchback of Notre Dame"
"God help the outcasts, children of God."
I have had a few crushes on Disney heroines, but in terms of fiery personality Esmeralda is undoubtedly the most captivating. Unrivaled in her vigilant commitment to justice, Esemeralda is the gypsy heroine who saves Quasimodo from public scorn and ridicule and faces Judge Claude Frollo at the height of his power. While others pray for wealth, fortune, or fame, she prays for equality and relief to end the suffering of the poor and downtrodden outcasts of Paris.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame was one of my favorite Disney movies during my childhood, for both the storyline and the soundtrack. In my opinion, Disney had a second golden age in the nineties, in which it was able to produce films that blended childhood innocence and imagination in a way that transcended generational lines. Bottom line, any girl that voluntarily breaks social barriers in a selfless attempt to protect the integrity of a complete stranger at great personal risk to herself is something of a dream come true for me, and with emerald green eyes the size of dinner plates I am not sure if there is a man in the world who could possibly resist a girl like that. Side notes: Esmeralda is voiced by Demi Moore. Quasimodo is voice by Tom Hulce, who is perhaps best known for his role as Mozart in the film Amadeus.
6) Matthew Patel
Ramona's First Evil Ex, Has Mystical Powers, Dresses like Pirate
"Scott Pilgrim vs. The World"
"Pirates are in this year!"
Ramona Flowers has seven evil X's (XXXXXXX). Mathew Patel is X number one. Literally crashing Sex BaBomb's debut performance at the Rocket Theater, Patel is dismayed to learn that Scott Pilgrim has neglected to fully appreciate the gravity of Patel's email (which explains the situation). Patel and Pilgrim fight each other in an awesome battle of fire and sound and demon hipster chicks. Pilgrim wins by knocking Patel out with a cymbal to the head, and as a reward he gains a level up and some coins that partially pay for his bus ride home. More importantly, he gets to continue dating Ramona.
Patel is a gung ho, cavalier challenger who despite catching Scott Pilgrim off guard gets thoroughly owned by the perplexed but lovestruck bassist, and he again literally disappears from the movie upon being defeated. Though not immediately evident from his heavily made up facial appearance, Patel is supposedly of Indian ethnicity, and this is indeed made more evident by both his surname and the subtle Indian motif in the battle hymn that ensues after his spirited declaration of war.
5) Randy Marsh
South Park's Resident Geologist, Father of Stan Marsh
South Park
"I think I know what it is but I don't want to say it..."
There are probably not very many geologists who can claim to have a set of life experiences equal to that of Randy Marsh. Whether flying high on medicinal marijuana, making a bigot of himself on national television, or defending his beloved town from annexation into New New Jersey, Randy Marsh never fails to rise to the occasion in his own unique way. The father of Stan Marsh, Randy's behavior often seems to reverse the natural relationship of father and son so that he, and not Stan, is usually the one getting into trouble. Befriending at times such individuals as Osama bin Laden, Randy is as unpredictable as he is irresponsible. And for that I love him.
4) Hiro Protagonist
Last of the Freelance Hackers, Concert Promoter, Pizza Delivery Man for Uncle Enzo's Mafia, and the Finest Swordsman in the Metaverse
Neal Stephenson's "Snow Crash"
In the real world, the idea of a pizza man saving the world would fall in somewhere between the unlikely and the fantastic, a vast expanse of the surreal and unfathomable mixed in with a bit of chaos and a dash of insanity. Luckily for our hero Hiro, he is no ordinary pizza man, and the world (or worlds, I should clarify) in which he lives are no ordinary worlds, and even the definition of "saving" in his context merits a wonderfully liberal interpretation. Unlike Hiro, most pizza delivery men are not also designers of an elite alternate cyber-reality in which they can modify their own avatars. Though in reality Hiro may seem an average, entry level member of society, within the Metaverse he is essentially a supernatural being who can navigate the complex and ever evolving labyrinth of channels without effort or difficulty. There are those who straddle both of Hiro's worlds, but Hiro alone seems to dive at will into both, moving between reality and cyberspace in a way that few could understand and none could emulate.
The mission is simple. Relying almost entirely on his abilities as a hacker and his knowledge of the source code to the Metaverse that he wrote with a few other cyber wizards, Hiro must stop the virus called "Snow Crash," originally introduced as a high intensity designer drug at a high rolling Metaverse nightclub, from infecting a conference of the cyber intelligentsia, thereby leading to the thusly inevitable deterioration of humanity. The problem is that the virus, Snow Crash, is unique in that it has similar distorting effects in the real world as well as in the Metaverse. While the rest of the freelance hackers have been systematically disoriented by Snow Crash, Hiro abandons his job as a pizza delivery man for the mafia and befriends the enigmatic, sassy, and quite young YT (short for Yours Truly), whose former job as a "Kourier" provides her with the crucial skills required for high speed escapes and evading capture.
While Hiro and YT become more engrossed in defending the rest of humanity from Snow Crash, Hiro discovers that the root of Snow Crash is actually an infectious form of psychological disruption based on neurolinguistic patterns of the ancient Sumerian language. The powerful virus is being used as a weapon by L Bob Rife, a new age, spiritual leader who is attempting to spread his religion to all of humanity (he even travels around on a massive flotilla with the USS Enterprise as his personal yacht, a throwback reference to L Ron Hubbard, the insane founder of Scientology, who also traveled around the globe via his yacht, Freewinds). Coming into contact with Rat Things (autonomous Guard Units used to protect Mr Lee's Greater Hong Kong), mafioso kingpins, counterculture programmers, Pentecostal Priests, an enraged swordsman, and an Aleutian Harpoon master, Hiro finds himself at the center of a conflicting global forces struggling to propagate their own agendas, and is perhaps the only individual who can end the chaos and protect humanity.
3) Carmen Sandiego
Former ACME Operative, Head of VILE Criminal Organization, Knowledge Hungry Villainess
Carmen Sandiego franchise
"Catch me if you can."
On the subject of chaos, none of these characters more prodigiously adores chaos than the mysterious super villainess Carmen Sandiego. As mentioned a few weeks ago, this cunning and sophisticated nemesis of global stability at times appears to desire nothing more than to seek out and control all human knowledge for herself, leaving the rest of humanity in the dark recesses of a primitive existence characterized by universal ignorance. What that would give her, aside from bragging rights, is not clear. Head of the the VILE (Villains' International League of Evil) Criminal Organization that she herself founded, Sandiego is actually a renegade agent of the ACME Detective Agency, whose brilliant and fearless operatives keep her and her team of dastardly crooks at bay. Sandiego's criminal exploits have included such astounding criminal feats as the robbery of the keys to the Forbidden City, the Nile River Delta, and the Olympic Flame, and an elite team of ultra intelligent robots developed by VILE are employed to copy and remove the hieroglyphics from ancient Egyptian monuments. Despite the mobilization of the best minds and scholars at ACME, Sandiego is always one step ahead of her ACME gumshoes, who prove as adept at bagging her henchmen as they are futile at cornering Sandiego.
Many men would probably find Ms Sandiego intimidating. She is secretive, elusive, brilliant (yes, that's right, she is smarter than YOU) and her motives are about as easy for the lay man to decipher as it is for him to design, build and coordinate the placement of a satellite into orbit around Jupiter. Rocking her imperial red trench coat and matching fedora that typically covers her eyes, she is flashy and flamboyant in that special way reserved for those who ignore the constraints of conventional society and live by their own rules (and in their own worlds). Though I always go for the good guys, it is this bad girl who, along with the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, also stole my boyhood heart.
2) Austin Danger Powers
International Man of Mystery, Swinging 60's Hipster, British MI6 Operative, Sex Symbol
Austin Powers trilogy
"Yeah baby yeah!"
SWINGING SIXTIES HERE I COME BABY YEAH! That's Austin Powers, and Danger is his middle name. A James Bond-esque figure of the 60's hipster variety, there's no man quite like Austin, known also as the International Man of Mystery. Curiously, his training, judging from his tactics during missions, appears to emphasize the art of seduction and coy coquetry over more traditional skills such as sleuth, marksmanship, or tact. Of additional concern is his sense of loyalty, which is directly observed in the aftermath of the Cold War, where he is initially unfrozen in the presence of, among others, a Russian general.
"What is he doing here?"demands a disoriented Powers.
"The war is over," his chief flatly replies.
"Aha," exclaims Powers. "At last those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh comrades?"
"Austin, we won the war."
"Oh, smashing! Yay capitalism!"
Austin is also perhaps the only man to have singlehandedly seduced Vanessa Kensington (Elizabeth Hurley), Felicity Shagwell (Heather Graham), and Foxy Cleopatra (Beyonce Knowles). Well done there old boy. I'm certainly not jealous or anything, no, not me! [shifts uncomfortably]. But in all seriousness, thank you for stopping Dr Evil from using his giant moon laser to destroy the world. Things on this planet are cool and groovy once more, and we owe it all to you.
Every hero requires a villain, and Artemis Fowl is one whose unrivaled brilliance, unchecked ego, and considerable family wealth enable a young, unscrupulous Artemis to track down and kidnap a leprechaun.
Well, not exactly a leprechaun. Actually, its Captain Holly Short, a ranking member of the LEP Recon, an elite paramilitary organization maintained by the City Council of the Lower Elements Police that is tasked primarily with ensuring that humans (in LEP jargon, Mud Men), do not discover the existence of the technologically advanced, multi-species society that exists deep down below the Earth's surface. Though young Master Fowl is a bit too grown up for leprechaun and their pot of gold stories, he does now find himself with a key bargaining chip against the LEP and a means of restoring his family fortune to its former glory. His plan is foolproof, his methods are lethal, and his composure is perfectly even. But though he eventually does succeed in extracting the ransom for Short's release, in later adventures he bonds with his former enemies and even helps them save both the Fairy Underworld and the human world in adventures that take him into contact with trolls, goblins, dwarves, the Russian Mafia, and even himself (literally, Artemis travels back in time and has to do battle with a younger version of himself).
Hiking in the Himalayas Part III: Back to the Basics, The Hero Returns
By the time we reached the entrance of Kuflon Basics, I wasn't sure if I could make it up the stairs. We had made it through the freezing night, hiked all the way back past Manchi and Agora, turned in our sleeping bags and tents, and walked the remaining two kilometers back to our base, and all I wanted was chocolate, beer, and internet access. Our route had taken us 48 kilometers over the past 72 hours, and with the exception of some of the more rigorous speed workouts during high school track/XC I cannot remember ever being so thoroughly exhausted. Anil greeted us warmly, and as we struggled laboriously up to our cabins the vision of a warm shower took precedence over all other luxuries. We had made it back to Kuflon in good spirits, and the prospects of two full days of rest provided no small feeling of comfort as we washed and treated ourselves to some well-earned rest and relaxation after three days of strenuous physical exertion.
We set out as soon as it was light enough, mostly because the novelty of being surrounded by snow becomes old much quicker when one does not have sufficient layers to provide warmth. Within twenty minutes most of us were down to short sleeves, such was the heat. The distinction in temperature between the coldness of Dodital and the trail even one kilometer away was amazing. Though we still had to pass through snowbound areas on the way down, all of them were in the first two to three kilometers from Dodital, and even areas that the previous day had completely covered the trail had already melted substantially, making our passage much less challenging.
By the simple laws of physics, it is no surprise that going down was faster than coming up, yet all of us were shocked by how quickly we covered the way back. A journey that had taken the better part of two separate days was completed in one, and when we finally did reach Kuflon Basics it was only the mid-afternoon. The two guys from Yale that we had encountered in Agora were back at Kuflon as well by the time we got back, and we spent much of our time with them. The two nights that we were there passed by quickly, and though a week seems a long time there have been days that have felt longer than the total time we were away. At night the stars were brilliant; throughout this semester we have been treated to some phenomenal evening skies, and in the mountains of Uttarakhand I was not disappointed. Anil's camp was not yet licensed to sell liquor, and the liquor shop in Utarkeshi was out of beer, so we made merry with an rum from Sikkim. Gone are the days when I could drink liquor straight, so while my peers took shots or tried it the local way (rum mixed with hot water), your dear Chhatrapati drank rum and coke (minus the rum).
We had internet access, thankfully, and in the time we were away my dear Ms Chhatrapati Lukeji was kind enough to register me for the fall term in my absence. Because I am now in my sixth semester, the number of credit hours I have is relatively high compared to most of the American University student body, and I was able to get into all the classes that I wanted. Our accommodations additionally included a lounge area complete with a TV, so we were able to catch the penultimate cricket match that saw India defeat Pakistan. Spirits were subsequently high, and more rum (and coke) was joyously consumed.
At the end of our stay, I mentally prepared myself to face the hellish car ride around the mountains. Anil had offered me pills, but I had declined, preferring not to miss the view due to drowsiness. As it turned out, most of the ride back was relatively painless, though we did have to stop briefly to replace a tire that had gone flat. We drove from Utarkeshi back to the holy city of Haridwar, where we caught the second half of the championship cricket match with India against Sri Lanka. After the victory, we rushed out into the streets and were quickly picked up by a passing crowd, composed mainly of young men interested in the three foreign girls in our company. I had counted on observing the festivities from afar, but due to the unwarranted attention I found myself along with my peers inadvertently at the center of a frenzied parade with individuals jumping in to take photos of themselves with the girls, or at least attempting to get as close as Josh (our other travel companion), and I would allow them. This quickly ended the interest of our female companions in further celebrations, so we escorted them back to our refuge in the lobby of a nearby hotel and then proceeded back out to witness the festivities anonymously.
Toward the end of the night, and with everything proceeding as planned, we caught our train to Delhi after a slight setback, and several hours later we were rushing to Indira Gandhi International Airport to catch our flight back to Pune. We made it back in the early afternoon, and Josh and I stopped at one of our preferred venues to enjoy the first Kingfisher that we had tasted in over a week. I arrived home by the middle of the afternoon, and promptly feel asleep. It was good to be home.
Hiking in the Himalayas Part II (Electric Bugaloo): One Night in Dodital
"These are the times that try men's souls."
Thomas Paine
Founding Father of the United States of America
The freezing winds pierce my jacket like one thousand stilettos, and snow gently falls to the earth from overcast grey skies. The shanty where we have built our waning fire is covered on three sides out of four, but even without the wind it is so cold that I shiver and cannot stop. We have positioned our shoes, socks, and feet near the fire in an effort to keep warm, and I am utterly failing in the attempt. A few meters away, water from the lake flows past in an unfrozen river that runs all the way back to Kuflon and beyond. The sun, blocked by clouds in the afternoon and then mountains in the evening, is neither seen nor felt, and as a starless night approaches we feel the cold to the very core of our bodies. As we roll out the heavy mat to cover the fourth wall, the inside of our fragile structure becomes pitch black, and whether my eyes are open or closed I see the same empty blackness, a perfect void absent of light.
We spent the majority of the second day trekking, and by 3 pm we had made it to our final destination, Dodital, having walked around 14 kilometers that day alone. Minutes before we reached our lodging, a pitiful looking structure that would have matched the set of Slumdog Millionaire perfectly, it began to snow, and we rushed into the sad little shanty to warm ourselves over a small makeshift fire. Taking in my surroundings, I remarked to a fellow adventurer that I wished my dear Miss Chhatrapati Lukeji were there with me. Then, coming to my senses, I corrected myself, wishing that I instead were with her. M y fellow travelers and I could have been on a beach in Kerala drinking fruity, tropical drinks while watching a spectacular sunset. We could have been basking in the golden rays of the sun by day, and devouring delectable tangy desserts at open air cafes by night. Instead, we were huddled in a mass of five freezing adventurers on the floor of a shanty while a mild snowfall around us brought temperatures down to a level that could freeze the fires of hell.
I dislike the cold. And by "dislike" I actually mean "hate." So laying there in the midst of my steadfast adventurers, I lamented the fact that I had freely given up my beloved tropical beaches for this icier, debilitatingly chilling, snow-filled version of hell. Oh, to have tasted a freshly opened imported beer, a paradise. Alas, such luxuries where not in the plan when I signed on to this endeavor, and that cold dark night in Dodital was a greater exercise in patience and fortitude that anything else this semester. But even during the night itself, when I awoke and bravely ventured alone into the night not once, not twice, but thrice, I saw the snowfall already disappearing, and the sky already beginning to clear. And an on-the-verge-of-throwing-a-temper-tantrum Chhatrapati Lukeji hoped, madly, that with the light of day he would see the death of billions of tiny snowflakes, and thenceforth march triumphantly home, a hero among men.
The night passed, and despite the cold outside we were warm under our sleeping bags and the heavy blankets provided on site. And while it is true that that one particular night was a test of will, in retrospect it is precisely such nights that remind us of what we are capable. Though I like to complain, and though I enjoy making lame comparisons of myself to intrepid Spartan warriors/American revolutionaries, the truth is that these experiences are what we remember forty years from now as we look back on the younger versions ourselves. And though this is not the end of the story, I would like to humbly acknowledge and congratulate the members of my team. We are certainly not olympic caliber athletes, nor are we collectively even in good physical condition. But our journey was as real as it gets, and whether tiptoeing across snowy ridges where the snow blocked us from determining what was solid ground and what was a thousand meter fall into oblivion or climbing up 70 degree inclines with full backpacks, sleeping bags, and tents on our person, it was a journey that brought out a side of us that cannot be found in a classroom, or sitting in the cubicle at one's internship, or even sweating it out at the gym. It was a part of us that can only be found in the wild northwest, in India's mountainous frontier.
Less than two meters below the earthen ledge where I am standing, a dirt path winds down the side of the mountain toward the town of Agora, the home of a few hundred residents. The sun is already setting; though it is not yet late in the day we are in the foothills of the Himalayan mountain range, and once the sun passes the ridge on the far side of the valley it will soon become dark. From where I stand I can see terraced fields stretching from midway up the mountain down into the valley and then back up on the far side. The air is clear and cool, and at the tops of the mountains we can see undisturbed blankets of snow. My four cohorts and I have taken refuge for the night at the local guesthouse, in reality just one small room without furniture. A teenage boy brings us tea for the third time since our arrival, and with our packs stowed away, our hunger satisfied, and our bodies exhausted, we prepare for the night and for a much desired, well deserved rest.
Uttarakhand was not the first place on my short list of destinations for our weeklong vacation, but after plans to go to Amritsar and Dharamsela feel through I opted out of a week in Kerala (I had spent the previous weekend in Goa) and decided to test my own physical fortitude. The trek in Uttarakhand, specifically Utarkeshi, was a four day affair, and I learned up front that we would be carrying all of our gear the entire way, sleeping in tents during the night. It was certainlya far cry from a luxury hotel, but in the name of adventurism and authenticity my decision was easily swayed. And, in retrospect, I am happy that it was.
And so it was that late one Friday evening five students from the US flew from Pune to New Delhi, arriving at around 2:00 in the morning in the Indian capital. Twenty minutes later we were in a rented SUV traveling to Haridwar, a site renowned for being a Hindu pilgrimage destination, as it sits along the sacred River Ganges. We arrived at around 7:00, at which point we could already observe thousands of Hindus along the banks of the Ganges. As we observed from the opposite side, a Hindu holy man approached us and offered to show us his Ashram, an offer that we accepted, much to our driver's dismay. As it turned out, there wasn't much to see; as far as I could tell the ashram was comprised of approximately one dozen members, most of whom briefly contemplated the entrance of five foreigners with about the same degree of interest as they would contemplate a fellow Hindu visitor before returning to their work. Before we made our departure the holy man instructed us to friend him on Facebook.
The Sacred River Ganga in Haridwar
Inside the Ashram
From there, it was another six hour drive through the mountains to our base Kuflon, a small camp area in the near vicinity of Utarkeshi. Right away I felt extremely nauseous, and as we climbed higher and wove deeper into the mountains I began to regret not going to Kerala. After about two hours we stopped for chai at a rest stop on a ridge overlooking the mountains and plains, and I mentally prepared myself for the next leg of the journey. Actually it wasn't so bad. The drive was rather strenuous, but now that we were up here the view was quite nice, and the air was fresh. We again took our seats, and our driver blasted off like an Apollo rocket en route to the moon.
View from the first rest stop
It took about ten minutes for me to realize that in no way would the remainder of the drive be any better than the first part. As I in my misery sat in the lurching passenger seat of the SUV winding up the side of a mountain, I tried to fall asleep or at least take my mind off of the situation at hand, something that I tried to do more than once that week. It was all to no avail, for the driver, true to Indian form, spent about 50% of his time on the horn as we zoomed around tight blind corners, in an effort to warn oncoming vehicles that yes, a swiftly moving SUV was headed their way from the other side of the corner and no, it would not reduce its speed, slowing down be damned. I have been on roller coasters that are less vertigo-inducing than that drive, one which could offer a much more affordable G force simulator for aerospace cadets should NASA ever need to trim its budget.
The rest of the drive proceeded as such, and by the time we arrived in Utarkeshi I could barely walk due to the dizziness and disorientation. The drive had relieved me of my appetite, so I watched a cricket match while my cohorts took lunch. In Utarkeshi we also purchased wool clothes, for our trek would eventually be taking us to the village of Dodital, a snowbound area high up in the mountains.
The drive from Utarkeshi to Kuflon was brief, perhaps fifteen minutes. As we walked up the stone stairs to the cabins our host, Anil, emerged from his office. Greetings us warmly, he showed us to our rooms, which were quite pleasant after the long drive, and gave us a tour of the grounds. At the center of the camp area was an open air commons in which light refreshments and a small library were provided. We relaxed there for the rest of the day and all of the next, and on Monday we began our three day trek.
Entrance to Kuflon
Traveling light was essential. We carried everything we needed in our trekking backpacks, including two tents. I carried one tent, as well as my own sleeping bag, and the weight was altogether surprisingly manageable. At times, especially when facing sharp inclines, the tent was a nuisance, but by the time we had reached the village of Agora, the site where we would spend the first night, we had determined that we would be sleeping in guesthouses anyway, and the tents would not be needed.
Agora itself was a remarkable village, nestled amid terraced fields overlooking a valley with a flowing river. It was there that we met up with two other individuals from the US, both of whom had recently graduated from Yale University. They were doing environmental conservation work in and around Utarkeshi, and to support themselves they led fly fishing tours to an internationally based clientele. We spoke with them for awhile, and then ended our night shortly after a dinner of rice and dal. We watched as the sun set and darkness fell upon the village. Distant lights from other mountain villages came on, and from where we stood the dark silhouettes of the mountains loomed high into the sky all around us. The first day was over.
The concept of globalization is complex to understand and impossible to define in a universally acceptable manner. Nevertheless, the socio-cultural effects of globalization may be readily observed through ethnographic studies and informal observation, both of which provide firsthand insight into the changing cultural mentality of India. The roots of India’s contemporary cultural transformation were conceived in the immediate period following Indian independence, at which point the leaders of the new sovereign nation engaged in far reaching, significant debate over the new identity of India.
At the time of independence, leaders such as Mohandas Gandhi and Jawaharlal Nehru differed in the vision that they held for India, with Gandhi advocating a society focused on the village as the fundamental unit of interaction. Nehru, in contrast, envisioned a modern, socialist state in which a powerful central state served as the apparatus for large-scale development initiatives. Though such ideologies are primarily economic, the inherent distinction in viewpoint also had lasting repercussions in the Indian social mentality.The eventual adoption of Nehru’s vision led to India embracing modernization (as defined by Western perspectives) and the movement of central policy to this end was accompanied by a corresponding shift in public perception. Though the drive for modernity was primarily an economic outlook, within one generation removed from Nehru the drive to modernity has become increasingly manifest in that of individual lifestyles. Western soft culture is being proliferated in fashion, entertainment, and the manner of consumption within the contemporary emerging generation of Indian society. Having spoken to numerous individuals regarding such changes, a very clear generational gap between the middle age segment of society and their offspring.
Certain individuals belonging to the former category have emphasized specific cultural practices, such as the exclusive use of the right hand while dining, or the adherence to a strictly vegetarian diet. Additionally, several middle-aged adults have asserted that dating remains uncommon in the youth, and relationships are not displayed in public. Still others have cited Hindu spirituality as a core component of Indian social conduct. Yet in conversations with individual in the young adult category, such practices are regarded as old fashioned. A Pune resident and friend has frequently demonstrated complete disregard for the vegetarian diet, and in her circle of friends a number of romantic relationships are openly discussed. A young journalist responding to questions regarding the place of traditional values in modern society alleged that they were a hindrance to further social development, as they were incompatible with new social values. These few ethnographic observations, combined with additional analysis and insights (of which there are many), have asserted that a growing generational divide is occurring in India, with the emerging generation becoming increasingly adoptive of Western lifestyles and values to the detriment of traditional Indian values.
The changes in the social mentality are further evidenced by the media. Advertisements on TV and billboards now feature lifestyle products such as whitening cream, high definition TVs, and 3G cellular services. Evidence of globalization is even observable in the eateries along the popular avenues to which university students flock between and after lectures. Fast food eateries from the US such as Subway, McDonalds, KFC, and Pizza Hut can all be found along FC road or the nearby JM road, just a few minutes walk from Fergusson College. And the popular coffee house Barista, now under the ownership of the Italian brand LaVazza, is another example of the globalization that is experienced daily in Indian society. The impact of globalization can also be readily observed in newspapers and magazines. The Pune Mirror and the Times of India both frequently feature advertisements for university bound students, offering cultural exchange programs or even direct enrollment into US and European institutions. Globalization is not confined exclusively to products, but also to services, including that of education. Time spent at foreign institutions no doubt reinforces external influences on the individual student’s social mentality, further emphasizing the transition to new values.
From a global perspective, India appears in the midst of the conflicting forces of traditional values and Western influences, with the former losing ground to the latter in the upcoming generation. Yet, to claim that India has become fully socially and culturally globalized amounts to gross oversimplification. The acceptance of such external influences is not universal among the youth of India, but rather the middle to upper class youth. Additionally, it could be argued that this phenomenon is more prevalent in urban areas where such lifestyles may flourish. Furthermore, though there is a presence of globalization in urban daily life, such influences nevertheless themselves are curtailed toward an Indian consumer base. Whitening cream, despite its status as a personal vanity and luxury good, would not be popular in the United States, where tanning salons have been in vogue for decades. And even the fast food eateries have adapted their fares to the local palate, seasoning their recipes with spices to a degree that would be almost overwhelming back in their country of origin.
In addition to the tendency of external influences to adapt to Indian tastes, a further argument could be made that the Western leaning emerging generation, albeit the middle to upper class urban youth, are undergoing a disparity between the image they project and their actual social mentality. Externally they may exhibit Western behavior (consuming non vegetarian dishes, drinking alcoholic beverages, smoking, etc.), but if they engage in this sort of lifestyle with the implicit intention of appearing more Western than they are only masking their more traditional mentality on a superficial level. Such behavior in the West is natural; individuals of all ages may partake in such habits because they are viewed as conventional. But in a society in which such practices are still somewhat discouraged, especially by traditional values, the engagement in such practices may only reflect an artificial projection of Westernization, while the intrinsic truth is exactly the opposite.
